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Comedy Zone Have a joke? Something Funny? Put it here, We'll let you know if it sucks.

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  #1  
Old 12-03-2017, 19:54
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RangerMac RangerMac is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Myrtle Creek, OR
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Default Stolen from Facebook

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas.

The Captain gets on the loudspeaker and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?" One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's.

"The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catch's his breath, he gets back on the loud speaker and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The other 11 million are already there!"
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  #2  
Old 12-11-2017, 19:12
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rrogden rrogden is offline
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Location: Oklahoma
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I think that 11 million number is way off. I'd say about double that. But that's ok I need the help.....
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  #3  
Old 12-12-2017, 06:59
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RangerMac RangerMac is offline
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Location: Myrtle Creek, OR
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I know there are some pretty good stone masons amongst their numbers. Cement workers too. But you are supposed to be retired, man. I bought a motor home and I am hoping to get around the states a little bit and see some of you guys in the not too distant future. If you are at work, how am I going to do that? lol.
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  #4  
Old 12-18-2017, 07:18
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RangerMac RangerMac is offline
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Location: Myrtle Creek, OR
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A grumpy old Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college.

There was a lot of young ladies in gala and one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative,young lady. I am just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action in your duty.”

“Yes,young lady, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up. Relax and enjoy of music and vine.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you made love?”

“1958,young lady.”

“Well, there you are. No wonder you’re so serious. You really need to chill out! I mean, no sex since 1958! She took his hand and led him to a empty room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.

Thereafter, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1958.”

The Sergeant Major said, after glancing at his watch, “I hope not; it’s only 2115 now.”
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  #5  
Old 12-21-2017, 22:37
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rrogden rrogden is offline
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duh, it took a second read to get that....
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